Mayhem and Beyond

By Elizabeth McGivern

Mum by day, writer by night. Figuring out the rest as I go along.
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posted on September 30, 2019 by elizabeth

How to survive IKEA

I’m off to the happiest place on earth, on this foggy Monday, so I decided to be proactive and put some tips together for this visit:

How to survive IKEA:

1.Never go with husband unless you want to have a monumental fight.

2. Make sure you’ve practised Tetris for the week before you go, to prepare yourself for getting everything in the boot afterwards.

3. Comment on how much smaller the slices of Daim cake have gotten and proceed to order two to make up for the deficit.

4. Promise not to buy more photo frames because you still haven’t put up the last lot.

5. Buy more photo frames.

6. Bring an enabler (my mother who is sure to buy yet another rug).

7. Don’t tell husband you’re going or you will get an irate phone call from him telling you ‘we don’t need more cushions.’
You don’t need that sort of negativity in your life.
They’re throw pillows, Conor, THROW PILLOWS and they’re always necessary.

8. Put the tea-lights back. You really don’t need more tea-lights.

9. Spend the return trip wondering how the total was £217 for photo frames, tea-light candles and a new throw pillow.

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