This post started out as something completely different.
I was trying to tell you about the ‘unique’ way your Dad likes to be romantic – often a far cry from the movie-style scenarios I hope for – but it ended up being a 2,000 word essay bashing his efforts.
This isn’t fair.
I had a think over the weekend and this morning I had a light bulb moment.
So what if your Dad doesn’t fit my concept of romance? That’s my fault, not his.
He does things a little differently and it’s one of the reasons why I love him.
I’m feeling philosophical, so bear with me and take my advice:
If you meet someone, they should love you for who you are, not who they want you to be.
It’s taken most of my adult life to figure this one out, so I’m trying to save you a lot of time self-analysing.
All this rubbish self-analysing starts in your teenage years.
Teenage years are hideous.
The upside is you’ll never be a teenage girl, so I’m led to believe (from your Dad) things won’t be that bad for you.
BUT you will be in contact with teenage girls so don’t be a douche to them or I will break you.
Anyway, these teenage years will set up how you form relationships later.
If you get hurt, if you get your heart broken or if someone breaks your trust in them, this will inevitably play a part in the next relationship (and the next).
Try not to do this. Don’t punish the next person, for what the last one did to you.
It wasn’t their fault.
Obviously I hope none of the above happens to you, but at least you can break out this letter should the need arise.
Don’t waste your time, energy or love on those who don’t deserve it – this goes for friends as well!
This is really just an extension of my first point.
Don’t spend time changing for those around you. You’re a unique, wonderful and fantastic person and if the people around you can’t see this, then they only thing you should change is the people around you.
Don’t apologise for who you are, because the right people will love you for those exact reasons.
I spent a stupid amount of time with people that were not right for me and yet thought it was a failing on my part that things didn’t work out.
The simple fact is, we weren’t right for each other – and that’s ok!
I wish someone would have shook me and said: “Let it go.”
As I write this I’m completely aware that you won’t actually heed any of this and this is a lesson you’re going to have to figure out for yourself.
Anyway, back to the point.
I have a temper – yes, yes I am a stereotypical redhead – and I have tried (and failed miserably) to get it in check.
I’m also: impatient, fussy, quit almost any project I start, overly sensitive, critical and I’m going to stop there before I get too down on myself.
The thing is, your Dad knows all this and he doesn’t care.
When my temper (frequently) gets the better of me, he calls me passionate – or laughs when I throw a hissy fit.
When I’m impatient, it doesn’t matter because he has enough patience for the both of us.
When I’m fussy, he calms me down with a hug.
When I give up on something, he doesn’t judge me for it, he simply puts my things away and encourages me when I to go back to it again.
When I’m overly sensitive about a comment aimed at me, he has a witty comeback on hand to protect me.
When I’m critical he simply says ‘stop’ and I usually do.
When you find someone that has seen your less than attractive qualities (not that you’ll have any) and turns them into something that they love without asking you to change them, then you should thank your lucky stars.
They are hard to find.
I’m always going to have a temper and fuss over the simple things and be stupidly impatient but at least I won’t have to apologise to the wrong people for being this way, your Dad loves me just the way I am.
So, don’t settle for someone that will try and change you – you’re perfect for the right person, and that’s what you deserve.