Although the festive season is over us – and despite the ridiculous overindulgence that occurred – dieting is the furthest thing from my mind.
You see, tomorrow is my first day back to work.
I can’t quite believe it’s 2014 and I’m handing you over to someone else, so you can spend your day with them.
It feels horrible.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to eating lunch with people that won’t throw theirs at me, but I still can’t shake the feeling that there’s been a big mistake and I should be at home with you.
The back-to-work deadline has been hanging like a cloud, but despite this we had a lovely Christmas.
You, of course, were spoiled rotten by everyone – especially your Godfather Ryan, who clearly needs to be supervised when buying you presents and told when to put down over-sized stuffed animals (where am I going to put them Ryan, WHERE?!).
Anywho, instead of dwelling on my guilt that I’m abandoning my child and effectively giving you trust issues that will cripple you throughout your adult life, I decided to think of some positive things about going back to work:
- I get to eat my lunch warm.
- I get to wear my hair down without fear that a co-worker will yank it unexpectedly and continuously until it rips out.
- I get to have conversations in which I don’t have to speak in a high-pitched voice to make them laugh.
- I don’t have to lie/sit on the ground for long periods of time because they’ll cry if I stand up.
- Again, they won’t throw their food at me.
- I won’t have the really annoying songs from your toys stuck incessantly in my head.
- If I want to leave the room, I won’t have to fashion an elaborate pillow fort for people to stay sitting in. I can just leave.
- I can go to the bathroom. Anytime.I.want.
- I won’t have to comfort teething co-workers.
- I get new stationary.