Mayhem and Beyond

By Elizabeth McGivern

Mum by day, writer by night. Figuring out the rest as I go along.
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posted on February 12, 2015 by elizabeth

What I Really Want For Valentine’s Day

I love Valentine’s Day.

After nine years together it’s nice that we are forced to spend one day a year remembering that there was once a romantic side to our relationship.

I love the clichéd roses and chocolates (I’m currently eating mine as I type), I love seeing giant, over-priced teddies in every shop and my personal favourite: catching nervous looking men trying to nonchalantly head into Ann Summers before they’re spotted by someone they know.

However, romance in a long-term relationship is a world away from what’s pushed upon us on February 14th; and as much as I love the clichés there are a lot better things out there that would make this romantic holiday perfect.

After a little bit (ok, quite a lot) of thought I’ve put together what would make my day amazing:

Sleep: a bit of an obvious one for the mother of a new born, but it’s on the top of my list. How good would 12 hours of uninterrupted kip be? Just think about it for a moment. I can’t think about it too long or I may actually nod off. Let’s be honest, at this stage I’d settle for five hours. That would be pretty fantastic too.

To go to the bathroom solo: I remember a time when going to the bathroom was a private affair. You went in, you locked the door and you weren’t living in fear of a tiny person walking in for a bit of a chat. In this new house the door handles are annoyingly low which means nowhere is off limits to the Bear. Yesterday we had a nice ‘chat’ while I was in the shower. As much as I love my children, I’d really like to be able to bathe on my own.

To have egg cups: an extension of the low handles, the cupboard door handles are just as accessible. Bear has taken a shine to my surprisingly extensive collection of egg cups (apparently I’ve been subconsciously collecting these). Since he’s discovered them I’m finding them everywhere. It’s not the worst thing to find but he’s leaving them like a serial killer’s calling card which is beginning to frighten me. Today I found one on my bedside table and I could have sworn that it wasn’t there when I went to sleep…

To stand up and just leave the house: I’d really like to just decide that I need to go somewhere, pick up my keys and walk out of the house without it being a military operation involving at least two bags, a feeding schedule and a window of opportunity.  It took over a hour to get out of the house this morning, and that was with my husband’s help – this doesn’t bode well for the rest of my maternity leave. I predict that we will all be lacking Vitamin D quite soon.

Someone to unpack the rest of the house: we are still drowning in boxes since the move and although I can’t stand the disorganisation, I don’t really seem to be doing anything practical about it, like actually unpacking. The mere thought of tackling the spare room scares the beejasus out of me. Best to just close the door and pretend there’s nothing in that room. Who needs a change of clothes anyway?

And that’s that. My idea of romance has drastically evolved since becoming a parent but I’ll still gladly accept the flowers and the heart-shaped card; but if someone could just volunteer to do the laundry that would be swell.

Filed Under: Lifestyle Tagged With: marriage, parenting, relationships, romance, toddlers, valentine's day

posted on February 11, 2015 by elizabeth

Starting From Scratch

Dear Oliver,

We’re coming to the end of your Dad’s Paternity Leave and the reality of being home alone with the two of you is finally hitting me.
Before I start to panic and turn this post into a rambling essay of sheer terror, I think I’ll concentrate on the good parts of the last two week.

You’re now officially an older brother.

I’ve been having visions of you trying to subtly trying to bump off this usurper but thankfully, you don’t mind the miniature version of your Dad.
He has caused little to no disruption to your day-to-day life so far.
In fact you barely notice him unless he starts to squeak for a feed from his Moses Basket (yes, squeak.)

With you being called ‘Bear’ it was only a matter of time before the newbie got his own nickname. It’s Bosco.
We’re not quite sure why but it’s easier to remember than Oscar.

For some reason Mummy has been unable to remember his actual name and has been referring to him as ‘baby’ since he made an appearance.
At least Bosco seems a bit more personal.

You’ve taken to petting his head and saying ‘ssh’ when he is unsettled – possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen – so it seems that the worry of how you will adjust was unnecessary.
What your parents should have been concentrating on was how on earth we can ever leave the house again.
For the last two days we’ve been trying to make it into town to get a few groceries but we’ve yet again reached the afternoon and you’re asleep, Bosco is asleep and we’re both too exhausted to brush our teeth never mind look presentable for the outside world.

I’ve now accepted that when your Dad goes back to work, I’m never leaving the house again.
The good news is: we’re no longer homeless! But that’s a whole other post.
Basically in the last two weeks we’ve undergone two of the most stressful life changes simultaneously and we’re going to be living out of boxes for the foreseeable because I don’t have the energy to unpack anything.
Don’t worry, I’ve found us underwear and toothbrushes: we’re golden.

When we had you it was all about learning how to look after a tiny (ish) baby and you’d think this time it would be a lot easier. It isn’t.
Clearly I’d blocked out the sheer exhaustion that comes with the night feeds but, again, I’m very lucky that your Dad is great at taking his share and letting me sleep.

The first time round I completely agreed with the advice: ‘sleep when the baby does’ but sadly this doesn’t work so well when you have to stay awake and look after a toddler.
So really, my sleep deprivation is ALL YOUR FAULT.
I’m kidding, although I am surviving on a lot of chocolate and currently still look pregnant.
Fun times.

Now, as much as I’ve enjoyed dedicating this little blog to you over the last year we took the decision that we should probably add Bosco to the equation, before he gets old enough to question if you’re the favourite.
With that in mind, your Dad has put together this new website for you both which will grow with the family.
This will be the new home for all our new adventures along with some other bits and pieces I’ll be working on.

I’ve decided to find a brush and try and tame this mop of hair. It’s looking far too similar to a lion’s mane at the minute and I’m just not confident enough to pull off  a look like that.
If your Dad starts calling me ‘Mufasa’ I may kill him.

We WILL leave the house today. We WILL.

Love always,

Mum

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: maternity, newborn, night feed, parenting, paternity leave, toddlers

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